She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
