Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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