If i come over, it means nothing
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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