some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
