You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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