my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
