I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
