can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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