It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
