i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
