My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
