shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
