I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
