kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck appropriateness.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
