piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
