If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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