tell your sister to shave her snatch
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
