i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
