sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
