I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What a fucking waste of an outfit
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
