that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
