And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
