no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
