Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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