if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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