I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize