Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
