Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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