I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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