Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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