I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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