I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sext me about skeletons
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