imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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