I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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