Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
