you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
