But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
