I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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