honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
