He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just forgot I was standing up.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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