found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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