doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
