3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize