How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
