I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
