wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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