Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
