dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
