if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize