Whod you bang
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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