he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
