I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
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