when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
