I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
