mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
