I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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