I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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