oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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