oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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